mama got all ultimatumy

mama was fine. mama was even almost happy doing what mama do alone - vacumming nude, eating vegan ramen with sriracha for breakies, getting up at 5 to be the only person in the world, drinking too much and waking up in the guest room cos she took herself home at last call but then was too drunk to take advantage and then mama had to collect her clothes & slip out earlyearly. slink of shame. you know.

& then you show up again. you text or you email or you send a goddamn passenger pigeon or a flaming arrow with an embossed leather message or a baby in a basket down some backwoods nile or you tattoo me hello or you bend some spoons my way or my bush burns or somehow somehow i just know you're thinking about me again & it's usually round this time cos atheists & grindcorists get so goddamned lonely around the xmasses...

& then mama feels something & then mama drinks the maker's manhattans & then she gets yearnyyearny & mama goes to bed & pretends she's in a youtube how to rub one out for womens video & then she wakes up & then she's in the shower & pretending to be in a porno video - so fresh & so cleanclean - & then she's all wetwetwet all the time & you still don't show...

but you keep sending out odd signs like no pickup trucks on my lawn or one spur embedded in mama's back door or a deer heart in my growler and a jpeg of your penis in my dreams

& that's when mama gets angry & that's when mama smash. & that's when mama gets smashed & she sends you ultimatumy things like a tatt that says when or a heart tattoo that says mama or whores like a choir cos mama was alone & shut & you opened her up.

& you always do.