Mama's gonna get real for a sec

Yo peoples.

mama has been doing the thinkings about the art & the body & shame & identity & sex & pseudonyms & ethics & ...

in the indie liternets small world there has been a huge controversy about Marie Calloway & how she outed a guy with a girlfriend as a cheater & how wrong she was cos she used his real name (at first) & what about his girlfriend, did she even think about her humiliation (& if I were his girlfriend I would a) want to know, b) resist the shaming/humiliation - it's not her fault the dude's a creepy creeper, and c) revel in the public opinion that my now ex-boyfriend is a dick), etc, etc. & yeah, she shouldn't have used his real name & yeah I know I've said, why are people even talking about this but the attitudes that mama perceives surrounding the subject have been eating away at mama... these attitudes reveal, to mama, that a lot of writers in the American "indie" lit scene value very gendered and very safe art. Safe especially when it comes to women.

& you all are like, Oh no mama, why'd you have to go there?

& you all are like, well, except for a couple of you who have the vaginas (but not all of you with the vaginas & mama just actually wanted to say "the vaginas") and/or have overcome society's gendering to think about gender, are all like, that's it, mama, we out.

that's cool, yo. mama'll get back to the deep penetratings & away from the deep thoughts soonsoon... come back tomorrow or the next day.

it seems to me that women can write about sex in the indie lit world if they are self-depreciating, if they feel shame about their bodies and their wants, if, when they desire they also feel bad about themselves, if when they break social norms, they are aware of this and self-flagellate with words & hairshirts. yeah, calloway does this in her story, but she accompanied her "story" with a picture of her face covered in dude's cum... which could be read as self-depreciating but mama sees it as celebratory: look, i just fucked dude and look, i've got proof... plus, it definitely breaks a social norm. sperm's not usually put on display, yo (but maybe it should be, maybe that'd help demystify the whole sex/phallus thing for a lot of peeps).

mama's not here to be a champion of  calloway's story or her blog or her "indiscretion" or whatever, tho. mama's here to investigate the reaction to her and her story and women's sexuality in general in the indie lit world. there have been the blog posts and the circling of the wagons. mama feels a new puritanism & is waiting for a burn witch burn.

part of the reason the reaction to calloway has been so visceral from women writers may be cos she embodies & even reveals their deepest fears: that many of the American indie men writers do not take them seriously & only like their writing cos they are hot, or that they will never win the hearts of the indie lit scene because they are not hot and/or not young. it reveals to them how much the indie lit scene is just a microcosm of America itself (and this realization, to many intelligent talented women, can feel like a betrayal). as a woman, if you are not young & beautiful, you have no value, still, in this enlightened age (unless you are old & still somehow hot but mama doesn't want to tread in milf/cougar waters right now). you could be the wisest, kindest, most talented person ever but if a man does not wanna stick his dick in you, you still have no worth in a patriarchal society. word. (& mama does not mean to be a downer or heteronormative, yo.) this can result in unconscious jealousy or anger in some women, and mama's been there, so who can blame them? mama has felt this jealousy & mama has also experienced this unconscious jealousy that manifests itself as professional condescension; it's the same as other grad students spreading the rumor you're getting good grades cos you're hot & not cos you worked your ass off (& not on a pole or on the prof's desk or anything like that, my little pervs).

other things i have been thinking in conjunction with this controversy is the use of pseudonyms... yes, mama uses a pseudonym and, believe it or not, mama herself is a persona (really, mama, really?). mama uses a pseudonym not to hide or cos she's afraid she'll hurt anyone she knows with her art or cos she's ashamed of writing about the body/sex/the raunch/the blue/the cunt/the cock, but cos when she first started writing, there was another writer with her name already writing & mama didn't want to compete. plus, mama wanted a gender neutral name to get her over those transoms initially. those transoms are high & narrow & hard to get through, yo. mama's family knows her writing & mama's not ashamed that they know. if they cannot deal with the body & the sex of mama's writing, then how have they had the childrens? why do they have the childrens? there are all sorts of love and all sorts of sexuality & all sorts of identity & to narrow love & sex & identity down into one or two categories inhibits people to really know themselves & to really find love & happiness. mama thinks the taboo body needs to be celebrated; that the sacred and the profane are actually the same. mama thinks about the writers with pseudonyms who have the fake names cos they don't want to offend their family or friends: why are you writing then if you are worried that you are going to offend someone with your ideas? why are you writing about sex if you are afraid you are going to offend someone with your writings about sex? what is art if it's safe and doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, or at least think and question?

so, what mama's trying to say is mama hates the censorship, especially when it comes to identity & sexuality (and by sexuality, mama means whatever gets you off as long as it's with your own consent - masturbation, or another adult's or other adults' consents, yo), & especially when it's girl on girl censorship. get over your initial reaction to "Adrien Brody," and think about why you are feeling so pissed off at calloway & not at dude whatever his name is... but, if you're over that already (that was so, like, 2 weeks ago), think about how censoring yourself in the name of propriety is another way of creating safe art. think about how women's sexuality is being represented in the indie lit community. think about how women police each other's behavior/writing and why. think about what art means to you. think about it all & if you have any questions, mama's gonna make an afterschool special & maybe include a money shot, yo.

yours,
mama

Goodwill for all & secondhand your new year, yo

so mama's gonna keep to her traditions, yo. mama's gonna follow some kind of convention & tell you all what she learned in this year of our not sucklord (asswipe your own tp, yo) aught-elevens...

1. YOU DO NOT FUCK WITH THREE SISTERS

                                  YO.

2. Some eds are better than others:

For reals. The editors at Honest Publishing Press are, like mama's told manymany folks, the bestest. They are beyond niceynice. Where other presses think it's all the writers job to market market (& mama could tell you a story about a press who almost dropped one of their writers due to marketing concerns, but mama ain't gonna kickstart up no old controversies), these awesomest blokes have been doing the brainstorming & the buzzbuilding for their writers. Big shout out & luvs!

 

3. Big big titties, squee!

Mama's next novel has the bigbig titties; they are all like Tantalus's grapes yo, hanging heavy and low, you can look but you can't touch. Just like dominatema says. Mama also says, pee or I'll beat you...

4. You can't teach an old trucker how to sit on one of those rings or how not to eat the fried foods or how to listen to Nina Simone or how not to try to invite mama back into his cab when all he's got to offer is turkey jerky, Goldshlager, toe suckings, & no cock.

5. Count mama in as one of the peeps who wants real change. 

6. There is sex and there is art. There is art in sex. There is sex in art. Mama likes sex & art. A lot. Sexy artings. Arty sexings. Millions and millions xs a million mama likes.

7. Mama's gonna bring back the term "blue" for things peeps might find offensive. In this interview, Horror Sleaze and Trash asked mama if she thought "worry, fret, and irritation" were purposeless emotions. Mama said no, but mama should've added she thinks shock and outrage about sex between consenting adults or about dirty words is purposeless. 

8. All you all feeling the shocks & outrages over the blue literatures, get over yourselves & get laid, yo.

Word,

mama

i wants a grand gesture

i've been waiting for the grand gesture.

& you all are probably like, oh mama, really? really? well, the ones who care about mama. or the ones who don't like drama. or the ones who don't like to see peeps self immolate in a combustion of semi fumes & self loathing, yo.

mama's been waiting for a trucker to show up with boombox aloft or his beaded seat cover cut out in the form of mama cos he wants to be close to mama so close or melty chocolatey soy ice cream & some rope & a peony or a stainless steel retro toaster & sliced bread or even just some goddamned toast...

no one ever brings mama toast.

or a pinball machine where the trucker's scored all the top scores & instead of his initials put in 4Mama or just him naked on my rents' weedy front lawn with a tattoo of him & mama fucking on his cock or a tatt of mama's pussy on his hand so he can think about mama as he rubs it out incessantly cos he is not near mama...

or he drives his semi up unto mama's alabama front lawn & stops just at the edge of her porch & he jumps out & it is so blue all around & mama's up from her glider & mama's dropped her whiskey jug & mama's wearing a slip & nothing else & she gots big sunglasses on & the trucker grabs her off his porch & crushes him to her & says something good like, beat me, or, i want some bruises, or i've missed your tits, or, i'll leave my mark all over you.

mama's been waiting at love's truck stop.

mama's hungry & they do not have toast.

mama's in a dark mood

& mama's trying not to go to her dark place. that's why mama's staying clear of the bathtub gins & the root cellar vodkas & the underthefrontporch whiskeys, yo.

one of the things that makes mama the happies is thinking about the imaginative potential in every human being. i know, right? when did mama become such a fucking hippie?

mama ain't no hippie cos mama likes the bathings even if it's in the bathtub gins sometimes.

mama ain't no hippie cos patchouli smells like mildewed patchwork quilts set on fire.

mama was the asshole that set your patchwork quilt on fire, yo.

here is a link to mama's confessions of patchwork quilt immolations.

not really. it is a link to a post on her gracious editors' website where she supports the Occupy Movement & tells you, why.

suckers.

yours,
dark mama

Homegirl!: The Hearts & Guts Tour, yo

oh dear bloggy, so glad to have you back! mama'll stop watching her stories & sit with you on her porch in the early albamaz sun & we'll watch the little chilluns wait for school buses & we'll watch squirrels drunk on fermented jack o lanterns spin like disco balls.

once the disco balls collapse then mama'll know it's time to go, yo.

two stops coming up on the Hearts & Guts Tour!!

1. 11/11/11 = Fairmont, WV
mama'll be reading excerpts from Homegirl!  at Fairmont State University at 5:30 in the Folklife Center. mama's never been to a Folklife Center before. mama's gonna feel so cultured. word.


2. 11/12/11 = Hudson, NY

From The Outlet:

On Saturday, November 12th, Chloe Caldwell will kick-off the Hudson River Loft Reading Series in her home in Hudson, New York. The reading will feature “Twelve diverse authors” who “will read poetry, essays and excerpts from their books. There will be wine and there will be beer and there will be socializing and there will be books for sale.”

Readers will include: Daniel Nester, Sean H. Doyle, Chloe Caldwell, Stacy Pershall, Danielle Winterton, Ryder Collins, Mira Ptacin, Matthew Savoca, Kendra Grant Malone, and Eric Wybenga.

mama's got problems, but a book ain't one

it was just mama's birthday & mama gots the reading swag, yo.

these are the books/litmags: Gregory Sherl's Heavy Petting, Jenny Boully's Not merely because of the unknown that was stalking toward them, Johannes Goransson's Entrance to a colonial pageant in which we all begin to intricate, David Rose's Vault: An Anti-Novel, Barge Journal (who are the cool eds: Shawn & Justin Maddey and Christine McInnes, and cool layout ed: Hallie Romba), Front & Centre (another cool ed, Matthew Firth), and Thomas Patrick Levy's Please Don't Leave Me Scarlett Johansson.


mama spent the last hours of her 3 day bday festivities in a moonshine bathtub as the party rocked around her and read Barge Journal. it is the good stuffs. it is so full of the good stuffs; it is like the inside of a teddy bear all full of plushy good stuffs. check out Paul Kavanagh's "China," and Zdravka Evtimova's "The Brandy Maker," and Travis Blackenship's "excerpts from They Burn You" and then everything else in this journal cos your eyes will be tired and the moonshine fumes will make you dizzy but you will want to read on all spinning dizzy from the words and the way the words make you feel more alive and tingly than moonshine or sex even.

& mama recuperated with Johannes Goransson's Entrance to a colonial pageant in which we all begin to intricate. & it was like Genet and it was not like Genet and it was like and it was not. it was like toast & it was better than toast, yo. it blew the empire apart. it blew shit up in my heart. read it now.

mama'll be reading the rests soonsoon. glitterjesus & i can't wait, yo.

luvs,
mama

birthday bonuses & breasts, yo

here is a link to breasts courtesy of my sister, yo...

if you thought mama was gonna flash her sisters' titties you got problems.