Saturday, June 26, 2010

Warning: political level severe, but give me a sec & I'll be co-opted

I'm going to get to my first chapter, "Vampire orgies in high school hallways with a glittery glee club and baby bumps," soon. I promise.

First, I gots to tell you what I gots to work into my sell-out novel:

I was FBing cos I'm a dork like that, & I just can't stop. Plus, I'm in the Alabamas & if I want to have an intelligent convo or even sex, I gots to look to the Internets. (Cyber, in the case of sex, even mere dirty talk at this point will do.) Sad. But, I posted a Yahoo News article (sadder still, maybe) on said FB about the G20 protests and this Yahoo article stated, "Ontario's provincial government quietly passed a regulation earlier this month allowing police to arrest anyone who refuses to show identification or submit to searches if they come within five meters (five yards) of a security fence," which I am going to work into sd sell out novel. I am going to love that fence. I am going to wrap myself around it and rub on it and purr and lick it cos I love security. National security at any cost, in any way, makes me hot. Yes. When the threat level goes up a notch, I start taking off my clothes and sweet-talking strange men. When they start taking away the anarchists in unmarked police cars, I go out cruising the Alabamas side roads for strange men I can pick up. Usually they're men who are tending the lawns of the rich. It's kind of Lady Chatterly's Lover except it involves a security fetish and no Lady and just me cruising by in a hybrid wannabe asking workers if they wanna fuck.

In my sell out novel, I may even include a police or FBI or Mounty persona asking anarchic assholes for their ids & if they don't have them I will have said hero/heroine statesperson club and pepper spray and tear gas and spread eagle them and when they can't find anything they will spreadeagle and fist them some more...

But, back to my FB story:

Said news article is gone from my FB post. How does that even happen? In its place, there's an article about those goddamned anarchists: "Vandals mar summit protests in Toronto." This isn't the article I posted. I'm easily co-opted though, so I agree that those anarchists are marring the protests. Don't the protesters know they need to stay far away from the actual G20 Summit? The people in power don't need to hear from the little people. The people in power are very smart and will make good decisions and we'll all be happy even though our potable water is set to dry up in less than 100 years and scientists are predicting humans will become extinct but what the fuck do I care cos Little Debbies are still only less than 2 bucks a piece. And Wal-Mart has nice greeters. Shit, those Debbies are cheaper than my cheap wine and more filling.

Yum creamy middle. Yum anarchist fear. Yum workers' sweat. Yum yum.

I'm going to go watch whatever huge sports event I'm supposed to, now, or maybe the Kardashians cos Paris Hilton is so 2000.

Serializing soon,

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