bitches better represent

mama wishes she were better at the networkings & the makings of friends

mama would be a good friend if she didn't always want to sleep with your boyfriend

or your girlfriends

mama says, bitches why you be fronting & not be hitting on me?

mama doesn't actually talk like that

mama's plans for the future include:

- writing another book
- learning how to one-arm pump a shotgun
- finding true love or at least someone she can stand to fuck every day
-1/2 sleeve (at least!) of tattoos
- owning her weird shit
-leaving bama for good & never coming back not even to travel through cos once the portal opens...
-finding something good to eat in her freezer she forgot about
- finding a book she left in the freezer she forgot about
- starting a fetish porn company called "Ladia"
- making you play guess the fetish
- wearing big boots
- collecting all the bobby pins she left in her trucker's bed

- doing heroin (& maybe they'll have even better drugs by then!) when she turns 80
- sitting on her porch with one arm shooting up and the other one-arm pumping the shotgun when she's 80, yo
- using exclamation marks cos they makes her jaded heart just a little less jaded

yo.