i am so bad

at the announcements & things cos i got it in my head that i'll bore you & sometimes when i'm in public i don't speak cos i'm afraid i'll be boring or conventional & yeah, i know that's how humans roll but i'm always fighting my goddamned fate or some shit.

i would like to create a diagram of thanks but i suck at art & i suck at math.

it would be a tree-like thing with branches and e.e. cummings roots of love...

see this

i like to spring this on people when it's not February & then say, Happy Valentine's Day

wait, back to my diagram -

first, the Confederate Cowboys: thank you for parking on my lawn, right behind my bedroom window. if i hadn't been so annoyed, we coulda turned the whole thing into a penthouse forum letter.

i like lassos and whips and boots. just so ya know.

i do not like being woken up by big high beams tho through my bedroom window unless you're a trucker or a cowboy or whatever signaling you got somethingsomething for me... a hard cock, a bag of coke, a wet pussy, &c, &c.

i like the old-fashioned &c just like i like the old-fashioned spankings.

next, Wigleaf. thank you for publishing my story about my Confederate Cowboy angst.

& then Swan and David Backer for picking that story for FictionDaily.org

are you surprised i didn't link to my own story? boo-yah, bitches.

& then FictionDaily interviews me & all of a sudden my names up in internetty lights with big shots & i got dizzy & i was seeing something & maybe it was the aura of all the great writing on the internets or maybe it was the grease shining off the temples of all the internet egos.

oh, snap. i just said that cos i was lookings for a metaphor. I'm superstoked to be interviewed alongside writers like blake butler, xtx, sean lovelace, amber sparks, &c.

for reals.

& i have one more announcement that has nothing to do with my tree of love.

or a big branch of hard ramming. a hunk a hunk of hard ramming love...

stacia & i are starting a blog about writing & writers & it is an inclusive blog & we will leave no one out so give us a hollas, yo.

yours in boots & old-fashioned &cs,
ryder